"Because I needed to improve my German grammar and word order-not to mention my vocabulary-I instantly foresaw how Esmeralda and I could help each other. My accent was the only aspect of my German that was better than Esmeralda's."
Esmeralda was a "soprano-in-waiting," an understudy to the lead soprano at the Vienna State Opera. She only needed perfect her German accent, and she would be able to be a real opera singer. However, when Billy met her, she had not yet reached this ability. Esmeralda could speak German with impeccable grammar, while Billy could not speak with grammatical correctness, but had an excellent German accent.
Esmeralda's inability to speak perfect German without an American accent, and Billy's perfect accent and horrendous grammar, are symbolic of the ways the two helped each other. They both needed to meet the other, at that point in their lives. Esmeralda was Billy's first real girlfriend, with whom he had sexual relations. Billy, at this point in time, was also still hiding his bisexuality.
Esmeralda came to Billy at a point in time when he needed a woman. He needed her to prove to the rest of the restaurant staff that he was not gay, and that he was able to obtain a woman of her caliber. This shows the reader that, even after Billy has had a boyfriend, he is still unable to accept himdelf, and externalize his true identity.
Not only do I think that Esmeralda was significant to Billy's development as a person, but as a projected personality. Being with a woman helped Billy to further define himself as not being entirely made up of his sexual identity. Esmeralda was to Billy as (excuse my juvenile comparison) frosting is to cake. Alone, the cake is delicious. It is defined as a cake. With frosting, the cake has gained personality. It has gained charisma, and confidence, culture, and experience, as well as a new level of self.
ReplyDeleteEsmeralda may have not been important in Billy's life as a lover. She was important in his journey, and in his development. In life, only experiencing one culture, love, or way of life is that of living in a box. Esmeralda showed Billy how he could culture himself, make himself interesting, and share in the culture of others while he was away. She made Germany relatable to Billy, and he did the same for her.